I'm not unfaithful but i'll stray...

Ive always been the quiet sort, I know right, you don't believe me :p But what I mean really is I try to avoid conflict at all costs in both sl and rl, I tend to run as soon as things start to worry/pressure me. Obviously that doesn't mean I cannot handle myself when the time comes, but, rather I choose not to get involved in anything that's going to result in added stress, paranoia, random insult swapping. Well the insult swapping is fun, but yeah, I'd rather not. I think I must be getting older, more mature, I'm not running this time. I'm standing my ground and it's kinda fun, so we'll see what happens. Rambling aside, life is goodish, djing is funs, as always... Found myself a couple of new DJ's to stalk and thief music from, so that's always fun <3 I'm sure they know who they are. Oh and I have total girly wood for Magika's hair fair treat Andarial with roots still (featured in last look of the day, and err the one before) It's rare that I stay interested in anything longer than a week or so, but oddly this habbit of phasing off and finding a shiny t-rex seems to be flitting currently too. Maybe I'm just not as ADD as I thought...

Word of the day: Polyamory
Tune of the day: Back in your head (tiesto mix)

LOTD: well you're going to have to wait for this, cant get pics to upload properly it scrambles em :o no matter what I try.


       

Fantasy or delusion?

 Random conversation at Zero this afternoon during Ms.Dori's set. Why do we play sl? Where does the line between fantasy and reality blur? Personal opinions time. In recent months Ive discovered how little i trust cyber peoples, I have a sleect few who I feel I know and have come to care rather deeply about, some of the closest friends I have, ive never actually met in person. But in saying that, there are others their I have called close and have eventually shown their true perfidious natures, but alas, I digress... Yes, for me second life is an extension of myself, let's not beat around the bush, it is a fantasy. And can be a pleasant one, my avatar has a way hotter arse than I'll ever have without copius ammounts of plastic surgery... :o
 I love to be the centre of attention in sl, hence why I dj and prance my barbie around in rather slutty outfits. I make wisecracks, I smart mouth and I'm sarcastic as hell. But, I'm that way inclined anyways, I mentioned my insecurities in an earlier post, and I know I mask them with bad humour. In rl, I'm not such an attention whore, I'm more the wall flower type until ive had a few drinks at least, but, I still try my hand at stand up comedy on a regular basis, and fall flat for the most part. In sl my friends call me stand-offish, in rl my friends call me friendly. Why is this? What makes me so cold in the game? I'm yet to fathom... I think I had a point when I started writing this, hum, maybe I should get back to it. If you play sl, and are reading this, then please comment, I'd love to know why you play. And whether you play in a totally roleplay capacity, or if your avatar is an extension of yourself in rl...
 Now, onto something completely different, speaking of fantasy and roleplay... Sim is close to completion!!!! Wewt, yay and all that Jazz. Dominic sent a notice this morning stating he'd finished the writing portion of the group work, therefor the backgrounds are actually done (Girly squee!) Build wise the Library, hospital and club are done, along with a massive part of the underground (again squee!)
Basically we're getting to the decoration time... My, my, this will be fun. Hopefully mr.self contained Dominic shall let us actually do some work now :D After all making shit pretty is something I'm good at!
I'll fill you in on more detail as and when it comes up...

Word of the day: Owned

Tune of the day:  Seabound - Domination

LOTD:

Shape: All my own baybee.

Hair: Magika - Andarial (roots edition)@hair fair.


Skin:Laq - Mima (peach)

Eyes: Repulse - Living dead eyes (dilated)

Skirt: *H+K* (white) sugar panier

Shirt: *Linc* Tankdress White Wet

Socks: *Linc* Garter Nylons Long Torn Black

Harness: Kyoot - Addicted to Dopamine

Piercing: -.HoD.- Bulletproofv3 - razor

Boots: Kboots - black

Collar: (r)M~ Studded Collar (No.03)

Wings: [europa] Archon Wings

Annnnd, we're back, I think I'm really going to have to start paying attention to you lot a bit more. My pc exploded a few weeks back, well, the motherboard fried, apparently ive been downloading too much porn (do'h) But, alas, I ended up ordering a new gaming monster pc, it's about time i caught up with the rest of the world, so you'll be noticing much improvement in lotd pics from now on. A lot's happened since I last posted, I've moved on, is the only way to say it really... I now dj for  Club Zero radio :D Discovering my old passion for ebm, trance and industrial. The dj's at zero are incredible, I even fan girl over a few, and well anyone that knows me knows I don't fan girl. Ever. Well, maybe over myself, but dude, i'm awesome. On another note, I'm heavily involved with the creation of a new roleplay sim. The Fallen. I am admin and secretary extraordinaire. We are not open yet, but suffice to say things are coming along beautifully. Allrighty mon petite chou, let's get this show on the road. Look of the day time...

word of the day : Revelation

Tune of the day: Deadmau5 vs Melleefresh - Attention whore (original mix)

Look of the day:

Shape: Homemade by moi.

Skin: Mima by Laq

Eyes: Repulse living dead eyes: Dilated

Tat: Repulse: Sinner

Shirt and Pants : Boom My milkshake shirt: Cherry & Seaman pants: Black

Makeup: Grixdale : Caustic- Panther girl

Hair : Magika - Andarial (roots edition) **Hair Fair**

Collar: Redmint : Studded

For you I'm Bleeding...

Love and hate are the same thing, you can't have either without passion. That's the easiest way of phrasing it I think. Ive loved so deeply and cared so much my hearts ached, and it still does. But maybe it is just me, my insecurities are great, I think I'm ugly, I think I'm stupid, I think I'm immature etc etc, seeing a pattern here? I'm starting to think it is all me, that my insecurities drive people away. I can't help how I feel, Ive lived with these negative thoughts for a long time, and everyone of them has a reason for being.  Maybe one of these days someone will see past them, maybe not, but either way life will continue, anyways, rant over for now. One final thought. And it isnt even mine.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu

word of the day: Suckerpunch

tune of the day: Emily Browning- Sweet Dreams


Look of the day:  Shape: My own homemade dealie

Skin : Mynerva

Ears: Mynerva

Eyes: House of Eyez

Tattoo: Garden of Ku

Collar: Blitzed

Piercing: HoD

Lashes: Err I'll get back to you on that, I have her in like 4 sets

Hair: Magika

Shirt: Nomine

(I'll edit and add names/lm's when I can be arsed logging on sl for more than three minutes)

Life on mars...

It's been a funny couple of months, I do appologise for being away, needs must, my look of the days a bit lower down, my mood is emo :P Must add I have a total hard on for -.HoD,- at the moment :P epic piercings, accept no substitutes dagnammit.

word of the day : Lament
Tune of the day: Ive been waiting for you- David Bowie

Look of the day:
Shape- home made
Skin- *League* Amber Pale-Storm-
Hair- Clawtooth: Could I Resist? -Black Eye (modded)
Ears- .ILLUSORY. Elven Ear -b3
Eyes- DEN-DOU vampire eyes/Gold
Piercings- (spine, face, hips) -.HoD.- Digital Spinal Piercing v2-Razor, The Crow's Crux-Razor- F (modded), Thrust Piercing- Razor
Necklace- -.HoD,- The Crosary v4 (f)
Arm Piercings- Pap2 Corset piercings- arm
broken cuff Bracelets- Made by moi :o
Tattoo - [ATOMIC] Tattoo_Duck Frenzy (color)- Worn
Shirt- ~Clipped Top Black- shabby cat~
Jeans- [Miseria] Bitter Jeans- Charred
Boots- Kboots-black-

goneded for a bit...

You say "I love you boy"
I know you lie
I trust you all the same
I don't know why

'Cause when my back is turned
My bruises shine
Our broken fairytale
So hard to hide

I still believe it's you and me 'til the end of time

When we collide we come together
If we don't we'll always be apart
I'll take a bruise I know your worth it
When you hit me hit me hard

Sitting in a wishing hole
Hoping it stays dry
Feet cast in solid stone
I've got Gilligan's eyes

I still believe it's you and me 'til the end of time

When we collide we come together
If we don't we'll always be apart
I'll take a bruise I know your worth it
When you hit me hit me hard

You said love was letting us go against what
Our future is for...

Many of horror
Our future's for many of horror

I still believe it's you and me 'til the end of time

When we collide we come together
If we don't we'll always be apart
I'll take a bruise I know your worth it
When you hit me hit me hard

Many of Horror-Biffy Clyro

I'll be backs :O

Bad Dreams...

The night is only a sort of carbon paper,
Blueblack, with the much-poked periods of stars
Letting in the light, peephole after peephole --
A bonewhite light, like death, behind all things.
Under the eyes of the stars and the moon's rictus
He suffers his desert pillow, sleeplessness
Stretching its fine, irritating sand in all directions.

Over and over the old, granular movie
Exposes embarrassments--the mizzling days
Of childhood and adolescence, sticky with dreams,
Parental faces on tall stalks, alternately stern and tearful,
A garden of buggy rose that made him cry.
His forehead is bumpy as a sack of rocks.
Memories jostle each other for face-room like obsolete film stars.

He is immune to pills: red, purple, blue --
How they lit the tedium of the protracted evening!
Those sugary planets whose influence won for him
A life baptized in no-life for a while,
And the sweet, drugged waking of a forgetful baby.
Now the pills are worn-out and silly, like classical gods.
Their poppy-sleepy colors do him no good.

His head is a little interior of grey mirrors.
Each gesture flees immediately down an alley
Of diminishing perspectives, and its significance
Drains like water out the hole at the far end.
He lives without privacy in a lidless room,
The bald slots of his eyes stiffened wide-open
On the incessant heat-lightning flicker of situations.

Nightlong, in the granite yard, invisible cats
Have been howling like women, or damaged instruments.
Already he can feel daylight, his white disease,
Creeping up with her hatful of trivial repetitions.
The city is a map of cheerful twitters now,
And everywhere people, eyes mica-silver and blank,
Are riding to work in rows, as if recently brainwashed.

Sylvia Plath

Keane- A Bad Dream

I are Zombie om nom nom

Shape: Mines :o

Skin: The plastik Lionheart-skele-otherworldly/evel/bone

eyes: Shop Zero-creature eyes-Ghost

                                 Face tattoo: *League* Zombie Bite Ripped Cheek (with blood spatter)

Shirt: *League* Tank top I Bite...Bloodied

Shorts: *League* Sunday sweatshorts lowrise

tights: *Sheer* tights 04

Boots: Shiny Things MED Ving Boots

Gloves: [NS] Mizer gloves