The haunted meme/new C88

Well, well, well, another week rolls around and we have another Monday meme from Ms. Strawberry, this week it's all about our fears (The original post can be found here, at Stawberry Singh) My fears are a complicated and somewhat messy insight into just how messed up I actually am, so we'll keep it as light as possible and I'll give you my top three. In third place and pictured, are clowns. This is my only 'physical' fear and the only one I could easily represent. Clowns petrify me, and even taking that picture took a chain-smoking me  a lot longer than it would have taken a normal soul. Many thanks to Shaggy though for being there, even if it was in Bob Grey get up. I have always been petrified of clowns, as long as I can remember, and it stems back to being grabbed by one as a child at the circus in a deeply unpleasant way. My coulrophobia however does not stop me listing Stephen King's IT as one of my favourite all time novels.

Number two fear, I've touched on this in the past, due to my epilepsy I have a possibly rather irrational fear of being by myself out doors. I mean obviously I do go outside alone heh. But, it worries me, I get nervous and scared every damn time. It's not that I'll have a seizure and get hurt either, it's more that I'll have a fit and people will leave me on the street assuming I'm a drunk or a junkie (common at my age). This I believe stems from an incident when I was at university, my flatmate and I were leaving after an evening in the library, middle of winter so about 6pm, pitch black, but centre of Edinburgh so very busy at that time, we get to the bus stop and this wee old man was collapsed on the kerb, blood everywhere from a scalp wound. There were at least fifteen people just stood there and countless others literally stepping over him to get past... And no one helped, the assumption he was drunk was high. My mate called the ambulance while I spoke to him and checked him over, turned out he'd had a heart attack and hit his head when he fell and those, pardon my French, utter assjackals left him.

And lastly, my biggest fear, and this is silly, I know it is, but it still festers away in there, popping up at the most inopportune times. I don't want to have to rely on someone I love to take care of me, ever. Now this stupidity stems from a conversation with my neurologist last year, they were starting to offer the option of surgery to 'cure' epilepsy for those suffering less than seven seizures a week. (I have way less) The risks were ending up like a potato. Yeah, no thanks. I am petrified there will come a point in my life where my health becomes so poor I'll need to rely on someone close to me to take care of me. Not happening. I am utterly self sufficient in a mixed up sort of way kthx, and plan on staying that way even when/if I co-habit with a partner again.

Oh, and one for the road, I hate, hate, hate, things flying near my head. Bats, butterflies, anything.
I flip out and run away screaming into the distance, possibly leaving a B (that's me) shaped hole in the wall in the process. xx

Now, to hopefully lighten things, because that was way heavier than I hoped here's some super pretty stuffles from C88! <3

Skin: Lulu - America 01 by Glam Affair @ C88 NEW!!
Hair: Ange -Garnet by D!va @C88 NEW!!
Dress: Frilly Dress - Cream by -tb- @C88 NEW!!
Necklace: Disco Lover Sparkly Cross by MG @C88 NEW!!
Feet: Barefeet by N-core